Lifeless
by MadamBlu
Summary: Kikyo always won, always had Inuyasha’s heart. So of course, it should have been obvious that Inuyasha would choose her to die instead of Kikyo. Discontinued...up for grabs
1. Torn

  
  
Lifeless  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Torn  
  
A/N- Yep, this is a new angst/drama story. It will have some depressing scenes but I think most people will like it. Don't forget, I write more if you write more.Sango could feel that same dark aura as she prepared to enter the hut. Desperately, she tried to think of something-anything happy to repel the loneliness creeping into her.  
  
"Kagome," she called, searching for her friend in the lightless hut, but Kagome was always in the same corner. She hadn't moved once for two weeks, neither had Shippo who sat on her shoulder.  
  
"I brought you some broth," she said quietly, making sure to stay at least three feet away from her lost friend. Miroku had made the mistake of trying to shake her to her senses and almost been killed. Sango didn't want that happening to her.  
  
"It's really good," Sango said, trying to fill the depressing void of silence.  
  
Cautiously she picked up the cup of broth she'd left yesterday, noting with sadness that Kagome had not drunk one drop. Then she put the new cup in its place and waited for Kagome to make any signs of movement.  
  
But as always, she didn't.  
  
Tiptoeing back to the door she opened it silently, but looked back at her friend before leaving. It only made Sango feel worse.  
  
With the tiny ray of light, she could see Kagome huddled in the corner, trembling and shaking too. Her hair covered her face and she had almost curled into a ball, as if trying to shield herself from an unseen enemy. The blood from two weeks ago (Sango still didn't know if it was Kagome's) had dried and formed an almost black coating around her skin. Sango had left blankets and soap in vain, for Kagome, like the food, never touched it.  
  
Kagome heard Sango leaving; she could even smell the broth trying to tantalize her with its alluring scent. But it was wasting its time, Kagome would never eat nor drink.  
  
Soon, the door had been closed and Kagome was left to sit in the darkness. By now her vision had adjusted so much that she could as well in the dark as she could in the light. Huddled there, the events of two weeks ago played over and over again in her mind. She must have relived that day a hundred times now, but each time it was worse. Each time, she felt more and more alone, she could only guess Shippo was thinking the same way.  
  
Voices drifted in and out of her mind. She could hear Kikyo's hissed comments, Naraku's evil laugh, and even Shippo's wails. But Inuyasha's voice was the most painful one of all.  
  
_"Kagome is the one- the one that has to die."_  
  
His words constantly played over in her mind, like a scarred CD that continued to play the same ten seconds of a song. Her mind had gone numb when he said that the first time. She hadn't even screamed when she felt the knife digging into her neck. If anything, it was easier to take that physical pain than the mental anguish Inuyasha had bestowed open her. Yet, she shouldn't have been surprised.  
  
Kikyo always won, always had Inuyasha's heart. So of course, it should have been obvious to her that Inuyasha would choose her to die instead of Kikyo.  
  
But it had taken her highschool girl heart completely by surprise. Deep inside, she had always imagined being with Inuyasha, living with Inuyasha, even having children with Inuyasha. Yet, even deeper inside, she had known Kikyo would win.  
  
She felt sorry for Sango of course. It couldn't be easy for her to watch a good friend turn into a lifeless, heartbroken girl waiting for death. Kagome felt touched by the way Sango was still trying to help, but it was too late to help anything about her.  
  
But it must have been even worse for her surrogate son, her mind told her as she looked at the quietly breathing Kitsune on her side.  
  
After all, Shippo was the one that died. 


	2. Homecoming

Lifeless  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Homecoming

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_"Why am I fighting to live, if I'm just living to fight?  
Why am I trying to see, when there ain't nothing in sight?  
Why I am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try?  
Why am I dying to live, if I'm just living to die?"_  
  
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When Sango returned, Miroku didn't ask about how things had gone, he never did. Unlike her, he had come to accept the fact that Kagome was going to die, and there wasn't a thing they could do about it. When Sango asked why he was giving up, a whole week ago, Miroku had given her the answer she never wanted to hear.  
  
"It's useless, Sango. I care for her as much as you do but she's not coming back."  
  
"How can you do that?" Sango had screamed while tears spilled from her eyes, "how can you just give up on her if she really is your friend?"  
  
Miroku had only sighed and pulled Sango into his lap.  
  
"Sango, when I was hit by Kagome's barrier," he had whispered quietly, "For just a second, I could feel what she feel. And even just for a second, I felt the betrayal, sadness, but worst of all, the loneliness."  
  
Sango remembered how he had pulled her closer before continuing,  
  
"We don't know what Inuyasha did that day, nor do we know when he will return so that we may ask him, but we know that whatever it was, it was bad. Still, what surprises me was Kagome had no anger, not even one vindictive thought. But almost no human could be able to live with that much depression inside of themselves."  
  
"But Kagome's not your average human!" she had cried in desperation, before letting sobs take over her. Still, she continued to bring Kagome food and supplies. Deep inside, knowing Kagome would never use them.  
  
Now that Sango looked back on that day one week ago, it seemed like a distant memory.  
  
Miroku and Sango continued to sit in silence, but it was a comfortable one at least. Time seemed to stand still, and everything around her seemed to freeze.  
  
Suddenly, Miroku tensed and uttered the words that Sango had been waiting two weeks to hear.  
  
"He's coming."  
  
They both knew who "he" was, and after a while, Sango could even make out a blurr of red in the distance. Before long, the hanyou they had known for so long stood in front of them.  
  
"Where were you?" Sango demanded but Inuyasha looked down at the floor and Miroku instantly knew where he was.  
  
"How's Kikyo?" the monk asked and Inuyasha looked up at him in surprise.  
  
"F-Fine," he stammered, "a few scratches but nothing life-threatening."  
  
"That's great!" Sango roared in a mix of sarcasm and disgust, "Let's all talk about Kikyo, while Kagome continues to kill herself. While we're at it, why don't we talk about how great's the whether's been and other useless stuff like how there's been no youkai here for two weeks. Hell, let's forget about the fact that Shippo's killing himself too!"  
  
Inuyasha had felt guilt fill his insides when he heard that Kagome was hurt, but he felt any eerie chill go through his spine when he heard that Shippo was still alive.  
  
"That's impossible," he replied, as much as he hated to recall that day two weeks ago, he had seen Shippo die, he knew he had. Sango however, didn't seem to know or care.   
  
"What's impossible?" she hissed, "The fact that you could so easily forget about a girl that's given her life to you, or the fact that even **you** could be such a fucking bastard!"  
  
Even Miroku was staring at her now. He had never heard Sango swear in all the time he'd known her. No matter what happened, she had always tuck to clean language. Inuyasha seemed to be staring at her too. Though for what reason, Miroku didn't know.  
  
"Shippo's dead," Inuyasha said quietly.  
  
"Of course," Sango retorted, "My mind just conjured up the image of him sitting and breathing on her back!"  
  
"Where's Kagome?" He finally asked, now really worried.  
  
Sango pointed to a hut on the outskirts of the village and Inuyasha felt himself gulp.  
  
He could practically see the dark waves flowing of the hut.  
  
Now it all made sense.  
  
It was no wonder that no youkai would come to this village. They weren't stupid enough to look for trouble, and these black waves reeked of powerful aura, very powerful aura. Now was no time to be scared, Kagome was in there.  
  
It took all his self-control to walk towards that hut, even though his youkai instincts were practically screaming for him to leave. But no, he wouldn't leave Kagome alone again. The door was right it front of him now.  
  
Taking in a deep breath to calm his jittering nerves, he pulled open and felt all the breath fly out of him.  
  
No manner of self-control could have prepared for the state Kagome was in.   
  
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_"You know, I wonder if they'll laugh when I am dead."_  
-_Dying to Live_ by Tupac Shakur


	3. Dreams or Memories?

Lifeless  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Dreams or Memories?

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_"Why should I always be lonesome,  
when sunny and blue are the skies? "_  
  
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Kagome heard the door open but didn't bother to look. Although she didn't know why Sango had come again, she didn't really care.  
  
"Kagome?" a voice called from the doorway and Kagome felt her heart turn to ice.  
  
_No, I'm dreaming. It's not really him._  
  
"Kagome?" the voice called again and as hard as she tried not to respond, it was impossible not to. His voice was just too real and too close, slowly she let her head turn and raise to look at him.  
  
Inuyasha's breath hitched when he saw her face. There were huge shadows under her eyes and a newly acquired cut on her cheek. But what scared him the most were her eyes. Kagome had always had those lovely blue eyes filled with laughter and life. Even when she was sad, her eyes contained joy. But now...  
  
While, her right eye was its originally blue-gray tint, her other eye was pure black. And as he looked into that black eye, depression, betrayal, and loneliness began to wash over his soul.  
  
It was really him. She knew those eyes from anywhere. Those were the eyes she had followed everywhere. They were the eyes she'd even risked her life for, she could never forget them. It seemed the longer she looked into his eyes, the more she remembered.  
  
"I don't want to," was the last thing she whispered before the events of two weeks ago flashed in her mind.  
  
_When Kagome opened her eyes the first thing she wondered was: Where was she?  
  
As her vision cleared she could make out that she was on a platform of some sort and that she was tied to some sort of cross. As she turned her head to the left she could make out someone else tied to one of these cross like things. 'Kikyo!' her mind screamed as she noticed the miko clothes these person was wearing. Why was Kikyo here? And that wasn't all of it.  
  
Shippo was tied to herself as well. Not a good position to be in. considering the giant pot of dark jaki below them. But still, something felt wrong, like she was losing something and didn't know what. So, she looked the direction she hadn't yet, up. Then it all made sense.  
  
Above them was a giant mirror, easily ten times the size of Kanna's. Into its glass were odd carvings of different shapes and letters. What's more, it was pulling white mist out of the two mikos. In other words, it was taking out their souls.  
  
Kagome didn't like the looks of things. Her instinct was shouting that something horrible was about to happen, and her heart was beating quicker than a mouse. She wanted to leave this place, she wanted someone to help her escape. Anyone, just as long as she could get out of here. She didn't have to wait long.  
  
Inuyasha came running and stopped right in front of the platform.  
  
"Kagome!" he yelled, glad to see she wasn't hurt yet.  
  
"Inuyasha!" she screamed back but he didn't respond.  
  
Kagome felt her twinge of pain in her heart as she saw Inuyasha looking at Kikyo. It was always that same longing look, as if nothing else in the world mattered: including Kagome. He was so absorbed in staring at her that he'd completely forgotten the fact she was tied to a pole, and above a giant pot of jaki.  
  
As soon as the giant black mist began to materialize between her and Kikyo, she knew who was responsible for this. And her guess was confirmed when Naraku walked out of the mist and began to laugh his evil chuckle  
  
"Ah, Inuyasha," he said smoothly, "What a surprise it is to see you here?"  
  
"What do you what bastard?" Inuyasha barked.  
  
Kagome watched the confrontation, but the butterflies in her stomach continued to bother her. Something was telling her that this wasn't going to end well: that her life was in real jeopardy. But she didn't listen to her instincts. After all, how many times had her life been in real danger? At least a few hundred._  
  
She was brought back to reality when Inuyasha came towards her.  
  
"I'm really glad you're okay," he said quietly, coming closer.  
  
_'No!'_ her brain shouted. This was the man that tried to kill her.  
  
"Go away," she whimpered backing up further into the corner, and Inuyasha finally noticed Shippo sitting on her shoulder.  
  
"H-How?" he stammered, the image of the young kitsune haunting his conscience, "Shippo's dead."  
  
"No!" Kagome screamed, "I brought him back, he's alive!"  
  
_"I brought him back!"_ the words hit Inuyasha, and his expression softened.  
  
"Kagome," he said fighting back his guilt, "It's cruel to keep him in this world. I- I cared about the brat too, but this isn't the way to remember him."  
  
"So why isn't it cruel to keep Kikyo in this world?" Kagome asked. There was no anger or malice in her voice only a need for an answer, "You're doing the same thing I am."  
  
"I," Inuyasha began but he was stumped for an answer.  
  
Kagome knew the confused look in his eyes. It was that look that had constantly made itself shown in her mind. It was that look he had when deciding that she should die.  
  
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_"While shadows and loneliness linger,  
I'm dreaming with tears in my eyes."_


	4. Dead Serious

Lifeless  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Dead Serious

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_"I can't believe I believed everything we had would last.   
So young and naive for me to think she was from your past."_  
  
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**Was I not good enough for you?**  
  
_"Who will you kill Inuyasha? The souless miko or her reincarnation?" Naraku questioned after explaining another of his complex plans._   
  
**Did I make a mistake?**  
  
_"I'm sorry, Kagome." Inuyasha finally whispered after what seemed like an eternity. She felt her breathing rush, and tears unconsciously come out of lowered eyes. It couldn't be true she told herself.  
  
But it was._  
  
**Could I have done something differently?**  
  
_At first she called out his name as Inuyasha came towards her with emotionless eyes. Continued to tell herself that this wasn't- couldn't be real.  
  
"Inuyasha?"  
  
He was only ten feet away.  
  
"Inuyasha? Are you okay?"  
  
Five feet.  
  
"Inu- ya- sha..." she cried out between sobs.  
  
He was right in front of her now._  
  
**Can I have a retake?**  
  
_She looked up into his eyes from her tied position to the cross. Desperate to convince herself that this couldn't possibly be her Inuyasha, that it had to be an imposter. But she knew those eyes. She'd followed them for years, they were impossibly to mistake with any others.  
  
One hand lifted her face and the other went to her throat. She could feel a claw pressing into her skin. Her eyes widened as it punctured the skin lightly, drawing the blood. This was real.  
  
She was going to die._  
  
**I only wish you'd look at me.**  
  
_The claw was pressing her skin harder now. But she didn't feel the pain any more. She couldn't feel the pain anymore: it was no longer painful.  
  
All of a sudden he took her into his arm and hugged her limp body tightly against his chest. Was he going to change his mind?  
  
"I'm sorry, Kagome. I'm so sorry," he whispered gently into her ear.  
  
Of course not. Life lesson #1: Kikyo always won.  
  
His claw lifted of her neck as he gently placed her on the ground.  
  
"It would have been better if you never met me," were the last words she heard him say as he slit her throat and darkness enveloped her._  
  
**But then again, what would you see?**  
  
It would have been so much easier if her life had ended there. If all her emotions would just evaporate along with her soul. But it wasn't over. It never would be.   
  
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_"Silly of me to dream of one day having your kids.  
Love is so blind, it feels right when it's wrong.  
From now on, I'm gonna be my own best friend"_


	5. Reflections of Myself

  
  
Lifeless  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Reflections of Myself-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_"I'll fix these broken things, repair your broken wings,  
And make sure everything's alright."_  
  
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_When she stood up it hit her that she was no longer on the platform she had died above, but in some sort of eternal darkness. Normally, she would have searched for an exit, some way out, but not today. She wanted to curl up in a corner and die. But she was dead, wasn't she?  
  
Kagome stared into the darkness for a while, frozen in this odd place. But after a while, it was no longer darkness, but images of Inuyasha. Inuyasha being arrogant, Inuyasha being rude, Inuyasha showing rare affection, Inuyasha being... Inuyasha. She felt the tears come again, but didn't bother to stop them, letting them fall unnoticed.  
  
The miko had never imagined it'd be this hard to look at him, but before long, the images began to speak.  
  
**"Next time I won't go, Kagome."  
  
"Will you stay with me?"  
  
"It's dangerous, you shouldn't stay here!"  
  
"I was so afraid- afraid that you could be dead."  
  
"Because of you, I'm able to laugh again."  
  
"I'll always protect you, Kagome."**  
  
"No!" Kagome shouted, covering her ears. She didn't want to hear this, she didn't want to see this. "You didn't protect me! You protected her!"  
  
But the energy to yell had long since left her and just the effort had her knees buckle and she fell to the floor sobbing. "You didn't, you didn't..."  
  
She had no idea how long she sat there letting the tears trail down her face only to disappear into the abyss around her, it wasn't until she heard a voice did she jolt. She hadn't heard that voice in 9 years.  
  
"Kagome," it called and Kagome looked up to see a ten-year-old version of herself.  
  
Her skin turned white and she breathed out a barely audible, "You're not real."  
  
As her younger version came closer she noticed that its eyes were closed tight, but more importantly, it was wearing the dress she'd burnt nine years ago.  
  
"Not now," the image replied, "but I was nine years ago, Kagome."  
  
Now it was Kagome's turn to clamp her eyes shut.  
  
"No, this is too much, I don't want to think about that too."  
  
"So what are you going to do?" it asked.  
  
"I'm going to do whatever happens when you die! I'm DEAD! D- E- A- D!" Kagome screamed only to start sobbing again when her own words sunk into herself.  
  
"My life. It's over," she whispered to noone in particular.  
  
"But what about all the people that count on you to defeat Naraku? Are you going to let thousands die because you were too selfish to live again? That doesn't sound like the future version of myself," it said to the weeping girl.  
  
Kagome felt her eyes widen when she heard that. The image had a point: She was too good for her own good. And then it hit her.  
  
Shippo.  
  
"How to I wake up?" she asked hurriedly.  
  
At this, the young Kagome smiled. An odd image, considering her eyes were shut tightly.  
  
"You just have to open your eyes," it stated before beginning to evaporate into the darkness.  
  
"How?! the miko screamed, worried that the image wouldn't answer, "I need to save Shippo!"  
  
But right before the image faded completely it said the words she didn't want to hear.  
  
"It's too late for him."  
  
Kagome felt her heart pounding, now alone in the darkness. She had no idea how to escape, no idea how to save her surrogate son. She was roused from her thoughts when she felt something trickling down her calf.  
  
She looked down to see blood. But wait, she didn't have any cuts there.  
  
"NO!" she screamed, remembering the image's words.  
  
It wasn't her blood, it was Shippo's. And this was what made her "open" her eyes. Bad timing, considering the first thing she saw was a lifeless Shippo on her calf. Even Naraku cringed at the sound of her blodd-curdling scream._  
  
What happened after that Kagome had no idea. She knew Naraku was dead of course, and that she'd killed him, but she didn't know who. Not that she cared. She'd found herself in this hut and she had promised herself that she'd stay in this hut.  
  
Until she died.  
  
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_"Kept playing love like it was just a game,  
Pretending to feel the same, then turn around and leave again."_


	6. Whats Worse?

  
  
Lifeless  
  
Chapter 6  
  
What's Worse?  
  
A/N–Reviews, reviews, reviews, reviews, REVIEWS! Yay! on with the story!!!!!!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_"Where are you and I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight, I need somebody and always.   
This sick, strange darkness comes creeping on, so haunting every time."_  
  
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Inuyasha looked down from his perch when he heard the laughter of children. He watched with an empty smile as they ran around his tree and continued to chase each other. Normally, a scene like this would fill him with a calm, serene-like happiness, but not anymore. It was impossible for him to smile with Kagome in the position she was. The wind played with his hair as he let his thoughts wander.  
  
Kagome. The 19 year-old girl that had stolen his heart. It was impossible for him not to like her with that constant smile and ever-forgiving heart. But she had stolen a heart that could not be taken. A heart that belonged to someone else.  
  
Those blue eyes. They were the eyes he wanted to choose weeks ago. But it was the grey eyes he had to choose. That's what it all came down to: his loyalty. Perhaps his best and worst quality. In time, it had brought Kagome and him together, but only to spilt them apart again.  
  
Everytime he closed his eyes, it was her face he saw. It was her bleeding form on the platform that he himself had killed.  
  
He roused from his thoughts noticing that in anger his claws had punctured his skin. But he just let the blood fall to the grass, not really caring now that he was back in thought.  
  
If he had the chance, he take it all back. Save Kagome, and live with her seemingly eternal spirit. But it was too late for that. Even Kagome's forgiveness had taken one blow too many. It would have been easier if he'd tried to kill her under a spell, even in his demon form. Because then he could at least put part of the blame on someone else.  
  
But it was completely his fault.  
  
He had killed her consciously. He could recall every memory of that horrible day. Every single haunting memory. And talking to Kagome had fared him no better. As soon as his fingertips had brushed her skin, some invisible force had yanked him out of the hut and kept him out. Worse, he knew it was Kagome's own powers. Not only had he eliminated her trust in himself, but her trust in everything else. Not just people, she was afraid to live life itself.  
  
He pressed his hand against, feeling a headache coming on. This was what happened when you had those human emotions: disaster. Youkai culture was much simpler than that of the human world, not that it mattered.  
  
After all, he'd be dead by tomorrow night. Kikyo was coming, he could sense it. Coming to fulfill the promise he had made to her. But he still felt guilty because even though he would keep his promise, he didn't want to die. When he's first been reunited with Kikyo four years ago, he had **wanted** to go to hell.  
  
But with each passing day, it became more of a duty than a want, more of a punishment than a reward. But no matter what, he would keep his promise. It wouldn't be much longer now. He only had one regret:  
  
He never got to apologize to Kagome, never got to see her happy once again.  
  
Maybe the stupid wolf youkai was right. Maybe Kagome would have been happier with someone else.  
  
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As soon as Kagome sensed her presence she felt her eyes narrow and fury fill every bone of her body. She knew it wasn't fair of her to blame Kikyo for everything that happened, but it had gotten to a point where Kagome no longer cared what was fair or not. What did she have to do just to have Inuyasha pick her over the soulless miko? But the answer was one she'd known ever since so long ago.  
  
It didn't matter what she did. She could do whatever possible in her reincarnated body and still be in second place. But then a thought occured to her:  
  
Kikyo had already ruined her life, did she have to let her ruin anyone's elses?  
  
Now, the old Kagome would have never even thought something like that. The old Kagome would have **never** thought of hurting Kikyo in anyway. But she wasn't the old Kagome, she was the new Kagome and the new Kagome had no problems stopping Kikyo.  
  
She didn't have to think for long.  
  
"Come on, Shippo," she said coldly, "we're leaving."  
  
The undead Kitsune didn't even question her. In fact, the only sign it gave that it heard her at all was the slight nod.  
  
Kagome barely had to lift her hand before the hut disintegrated around her and large wings sprouted from her back. Before, she never even dreamed of having miko abilities this powerful. But again, this wasn't the old Kagome, this was the new Kagome.  
  
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_"Like indecision to call you, I hear your voice of treason.  
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight?  
Stop this pain tonight. "_


	7. Gone

  
Lifeless  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Gone  
  
A/N–Reviews, reviews, reviews, reviews, REVIEWS! I'm so happy! I'll continue with the story.  
  
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_"We want more than this world's got to offer.  
We want more than the wars of our fathers.  
And everything inside screams for second life."_  
  
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Kagome could feel her. She was very close now, only a few minutes away. Closing her eyes, she let her powers flow through the ground beneath, filling the clearing. She could hear the trees grown from the sudden surge, the grass begin to sprout to knee-length from her power, the arrow sailing towards her face at a mile a second.  
  
She caught the arrow an inch from her face and easily snapped it in two before dropping it to the ground.  
  
"You've improved, reincarnate," she heard Kikyo's voice say as the soulless miko came into the clearing.  
  
"But that won't be enough," Kikyo continued sneering.  
  
Kagome didn't even respond. She continued to watch Kikyo's movements, waiting for her to attack. Time seemed to stop as the two mikos froze and looked each other in the eye: grey versus black. Not surprisingly, Kikyo was the first to speak.  
  
"Aren't you going to attack?" she asked raising an eyebrow. Honestly, she was scared of her reincarnate's aura change. Something about it was not right. The aura of death was mixed with the aura of her heart. Kikyo couldn't understand how life could be mixed with death, it didn't make any sense to her.  
  
A minute passed before Kagome smiled. It wasn't of those friendly smiles that she used to always have plastered on her face. No, it was a smile that signaled the worst.  
  
"I already have," Kagome whispered and Kikyo looked down in horror to see the ground swallowing her body.  
  
She pulled and tugged but that only caused her to sink quicker. She threw flares of her miko powers at the entrapment but it did no good. Kikyo felt her jaw tighten. Just because she was going to die didn't mean she was going to die a loser. If anything, she was going to make sure that disgusting reincarnate died before her.  
  
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"INUYASHA!"  
  
The voice broke through Inuyasha's dream and he awoke abruptly, forgetting the fact that he had chosen to sleep on a tree.  
  
"What's the fucking problem?" he yelled at Sango massaging his now sore back from the fall.  
  
"Kagome's gone!" she yelled back.  
  
"What do you mean the bitch is gone?" he asked.  
  
"I mean she is G-O-N-E! And the hut is no more than a pile of ash!" she hissed.  
  
Inuyasha sped past her in a blur and felt dread wash over him when he saw from a distance that the hut was no longer. When he finally reached the spot it had been he noticed the wind blowing ash through the air. But why would the hut disintegrate like that? There had be no fire, and he smelt no youkai. Realization dawned in his eyes. That could only mean...  
  
"Kagome!" he screamed into the distance. "KA-GO-ME!"  
  
But no answer came.  
  
"Shit!" Inuyasha cursed and sprinted after her scent. Sango followed on her cat youkai and for once didn't argue about Miroku riding behind her.  
  
They'd been running for only a while, when Sango yelled to Inuyasha,  
  
"Inuyasha! I see a clearing and Kirara can smell Kagome over there!"  
  
Without response, Inuyasha turned and ran as fast as his legs could carry him towards the clearing but when he got there:  
  
It was empty.  
  
He followed her scent to the middle of the clearing and then it just...  
  
...stopped.   
  
Worse, blood was splattered throughout the clearing and when the wind blew scents towards him, he felt a chill run through his spine.  
  
Kikyo.  
  
They searched for months looking for Kagome but in vain.  
  
She was never found.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_"We were meant to live for so much more.  
Have we lost ourselves?  
Maybe we've been living with our eyes half open.  
Have we lost ourselves? "_  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: Hmmm, is this the end??? I'll tell you if it is  



	8. Turn Back Time

  
  
Lifeless  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Turn Back Time  
  
A/N– Did you all think I'd kill Kagome that quickly? Well, maybe if I was in a really bad mood...-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_"I'm tired of being what you want me to be.  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.  
I don't know what you're expecting of me."_  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Thirty years. It had been a whole thirty years since her fight with Kikyo so long ago. And looking at her reflection in the river, Kagome noticed that she still hadn't aged a day. It was really quite ironic. She finally wanted to die and then finds out she has the multi-thousand year lifespan of a youkai. Hell, supposedly if she wanted to, she could have eternal youth.  
  
Sighing, she splashed some water over her face and began to twirl each sliver of hair into a tight braid. Not by hand of course, that would take hours. It only took a few seconds when using her powers. Glancing once again in the river to check her reflection, she frowned at the shadows beneath her eyes. Maybe she could ask him for a break.  
  
Who was she kidding?  
  
She continued to look at her reflection as a breeze flew by her neck, causing a shiver to run down her spine. It wasn't that she was vain in her youth, it was quite the opposite. Kagome was actually scrutinizing her left eye. It never showed any signs of reverting back to its blue color, maybe it never would. But still...  
  
...every time she saw that eye it reminded her of that day over thirty years ago. In her time there was a saying. Time heals all wounds.  
  
It wasn't true.  
  
Although, in a sense it was. Somehow, she had found a way to forgive Inuyasha. Instead, she put the blame on herself. Either she wasn't powerful enough, or wasn't prepared enough, or just wasn't smart enough. Kagome told herself that she should have seen it coming.   
  
So time had healed the wounds against Inuyasha, but not the ones against herself.  
  
Turning her gaze towards the sky, she realized that the sun was already beginning to rise. He wouldn't like it if she were late.  
  
Cursing mentally, she began to gather her things, noticing with worry that she was low on lavender leaves. To be honest, even though she was a "miko", the only herb she carried was lavender leaves. She didn't want to but she had to keep her eye from spreading: not literally, of course.  
  
There was an odd energy coming of her black eye. The energy was neither human nor youkai, and impossible to place. In order to keep the energy from spreading to the rest of her body, she drank a lavender tonic once a week.  
  
Kagome had no idea what would happen if she let the energy spread, but she didn't want to know.  
  
Standing up, she swung her bag onto her back and pulled down on her form-fitting shirt. Originally, she had traditional miko robes but every time she saw herself it reminded her too much of Kikyo. So, after a few months she opted for a snug blouse and men's breeches: plain but practical.  
  
If she didn't make it back soon he would be very annoyed, so Kagome quickened her pace to a brisk trot. After a while she could make out his form standing at the campsite. His white hair gave him away easily. When his amber eyes saw her coming, he turned and began to leave, deciding to spare her today, from his insults.  
  
Kagome hurried until she was a few feet behind him and then slowed her pace until it was equal with his. She didn't even bother to ask where they were going, she hadn't done that since her travels with the monk and Sango.  
  
She let her mind drift for a second, not noticing that he had quickened his steps. She had never talked to Miroku or Sango after that incident. Never saw them again, and he didn't seem to mind that she had no friends anymore. Although, when in villages by the region she would ask local villagers if they'd heard anything of the family.  
  
Sango was in her forties now, and Miroku had just turned 50. Apparently, they had nine beautiful children: eight boys and the youngest a girl. Sometimes, she thought of visiting her old friends, but Kagome knew she never would.  
  
"Hurry up." A voice said from in front of her and Kagome noticed she was lagging behind, distracted by her daydream.  
  
"Hai, Sesshomaru," she answered quietly and hurried to catch up behind the Lord of the Western Lands.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_"And I know I may end up failing too,  
But I know you were just like me,  
With someone disappointed in you."_


	9. Rumors

  
  
Lifeless  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Rumors  
  
A/N– **I'd like suggestions as to whether it should be Kag/Sess, Kag/Inu, or Kagome by herself. This is not necessarily a vote, but I would like some suggestions.**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_"Lay down your sweet and weary head.  
The night is falling, you have come to journey's end."_  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
People said the thing was cursed. Others said it waited on that tree for unsuspecting victims, usually children. They called it- or rather "he"- a bloodsucking monster, warning their children to stay away from "the tree of time" as they called it. But he wasn't monster.  
  
He was only a hanyou, whose soul was being chipped away by the depression swirling around himself.  
  
Inuyasha had sat in this tree for as long as could remember, letting the feelings wash over him. First, it had been sadness, from the loss of not only, Kikyo, but more from the loss of his true companion. He originally thought it was Kikyo that held his heart, but it was actually Kagome he loved. Kikyo only held his loyalty. And within the thirty years, Inuyasha had learned that love was more important that loyalty.  
  
But he had learned this too late.  
  
Worst of all were the dreams. Sometimes it was the haunting image of her bloody body, seeping its red liquid into the wood of the platform. Sometimes, it was the aftereffect, her body consumed by darkness. But out of all the dreams, it was the joyful memories that caused the greatest ache in his heart.  
  
They all started the same: Kagome calling his name with a smile on her face. Usually, she was bringing him a picnic, for them to share, or other times she was tending his wounds. And as she did these deeds, Kagome would smile and laugh, as though nothing else in the world mattered, but every time she did, Inuyasha felt his heart break more.  
  
Because he would never see that smile once more.  
  
He would watch her carefully in the dream, like she was a piece of china glass that could break with the slightest drop, even though in reality, she was already broken.  
  
"Inuyasha?" she would ask, tilting her head to the side.  
  
But he wouldn't answer.  
  
"Inuyasha?" she would ask again, waving her hand in front of his face.  
  
And he would snatch her head, but instead of letting it go, he would hold it tightly.  
  
"Don't go," he would whisper, consumed with guilt.  
  
And then a blush would cover her face, before Kagome would smile.  
  
It wasn't one of those typical smiles that she had for any friend. It was one of those just-for-Inuyasha smiles that caused tears to fall unnoticed out of his eyes. How long had it been since he'd seen one of those rare but beautiful smiles?  
  
And then the dream would end.  
  
So, it seemed that for once, fate wasn't against him when two little boys came wandering underneath his tree:  
  
"Did you hear about the youkai attack on Makeikusa village?" the smaller asked, stumbling over a tree root.  
  
Inuyasha's curiosity was rarely stirred these days, but Makeikusa was so far to the west that there had to have been hundreds- no thousands- of youkai attacking it for rumors to spread this far. His ears twitched to hear them better.  
  
"Of course I have!" the older (brother, Inuyasha thought) one scoffed, "but did you hear about the priestess who killed a thousand youkai with one blast?"  
  
"Ya!" the little brother chirped, "and her black eye too! I want a black eye!"  
  
Inuyasha felt his body freeze. Before long, he held the two boys above the ground.  
  
"Eep!" they squeaked, suddenly remembering why they weren't supposed to come out here.  
  
"Please don't eat us mister!" the older one pleaded.  
  
"How long ago was this battle?" Inuyasha asked, loosening his grip on them slightly.  
  
Both looked at him in confusion.  
  
"How long ago was the attack on Makeikusa Village!" Inuyasha screamed, showing his sharp fangs.  
  
The brothers paled even more, if that was at all possible, before the older spoke up.  
  
"Three- three weeks ago, mister," he stuttered.  
  
And just like that, they were dropped onto the dirt as the hanyou sped away at speeds no ordinary human was capable of.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_"Don't say we have come now to the end.  
White shores are calling, you and I will meet again."_


	10. Attack

Lifeless  
  
Chapter 10  
  
Attack  
  
A/N– Yep, another chapter!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_"Asleep inside the cannon's mouth,  
The captain cries, "Here comes the rout,"  
They'll seek to find me north and south,  
I've gone to find my ain true love."_  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Kagome groggily opened her eyes as pain shoot down her back. Where was she? Oh, that's right, she'd been hurt in battle. For the first time in thirty years, Kagome had failed.  
  
The youkai they fought had at least come prepared this time. Being shadow cat youkai from northern China, they were famous for their amazing speed. The youkai had come at her from all angles, and Kagome had known that with only one wrong move: they would be upon her, feasting on her flesh. Worse, with nobody to help her, it would mean certain death. And Sesshomaru had made it clear that he would save her under **no** circumstances.  
  
Still, she'd been doing alright on her own. It wasn't until she'd heard that child's cry...  
  
It'd was a young girl, she couldn't have been over six years, and the monster were circling around her. Kagome didn't know what came over her, but she'd left herself open to attack by instead shielding the girl.  
  
And seconds later, she felt teeth sink into her flesh.  
  
So as Kagome slowly sat up, one question crossed her mind. But why was she still alive?  
  
Sesshomaru watched, masking his interest, as the girl sat up after some effort. And, his inner feelings winning, he glanced up into the sky, coldly asking if Kagome was alright.  
  
As soon as the question was out, Kagome's body went tense. Sesshomaru **never** asked is she was okay. He just didn't do that.  
  
Glancing up, Kagome couldn't resist a small remark.  
  
"Who are you and what have you done with Sesshomaru?"  
  
Sesshomaru could barely suppress the urge to roll his eyes. And yet at the same time, he was confused, after all, he'd never once before wanted to something that expressive. There was just something so- so addicting about this girl.  
  
Kagome sighed internally at his unmoving posture.  
  
"I'm fine, really," she added with a bright smile, and surprisingly, Sesshomaru turned and looked at her.   
  
But after a minute passed and his gaze was still stuck on her, Kagome began to get nervous.  
  
"Is there something on my face?" she asked, her brows furrowing.  
  
Sesshomaru continued to look at her as thoughts twirled through his mind. Why was it that her smile made him feel so light. It wasn't like he liked her, was it? Sure he'd fucked plenty of youkai, but that had only been to simmer his primal urges. But a human?  
  
It was too late, he knew what was happening.  
  
One minute Sesshomaru had been gazing intently at her, the next he had swooped her up into his embrace, and Kagome felt her breath hitch.  
  
How long had it been since she was held like this?  
  
"Wh- what are you doing?" Kagome stammered.  
  
"You're mine," the Western Lord whispered into her ear before lowering his fangs towards the nape of her neck.  
  
Kagome could feel her heartbeat rapidly picking up speed but was it from love or fear? And Kagome couldn't help wishing that it was someone else holding her instead. She didn't want this!  
  
But what was she supposed to say, "Sorry, I'm still horribly in love with your brother who tried to kill me."  
  
Suddenly his teeth sank into her flesh and it felt so... comforting. It was like suddenly her body had something to lean on, something to remind her of happiness. But this wasn't what she wanted, was it? Suddenly her feelings were a mash of love, hatred, and confusion.  
  
But as soon as the feeling overcame her, it was gone as he quickly pulled his teeth out. Kagome couldn't help wishing it had lasted a little longer.  
  
"You have til tomorrow to decide." he said quietly, and then he placed her on the mat, spun around and began walking into the forest.  
  
"Decide what?" Kagome yelled after him, but it was no use: she knew.  
  
The only question was: What was she going to do?   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_"The field is cut and bleeds to red.  
The cannon balls fly round my head,  
The infirmary man may count me dead,  
When I've gone to find my ain true love,  
I've gone to find my ain true love."_


	11. Choice

  
Lifeless  
  
Chapter 11  
  
Choice  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_"Where have you gone? What have you done?  
A voice commands from high above this earth.  
From the soil I hear your blood cry out to me."_  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_Inuyasha_.  
  
_Why did you leave me?_  
  
_WHY!_  
  
Kagome's eyes surged open as a tidal wave of emotions consumed her.  
  
**Hate.**  
  
She knew it was wrong. She knew it was unfair. But she knew it was inside her. All of this was Kikyo's fault her hate told her. If it wasn't for her she could be with Inuyasha. Inuyasha would be with her. Inuyasha would love her. Not the woman she had killed. But no, her heart would reply. It was her own fault. If she'd never been captured by Urasae... If she'd only been smarter. If only... But no, the past could not redone, even with her powers she couldn't change the circumstances that they were forced into.  
  
**Loneliness.**  
  
For so many decades, she had not felt the embrace of a friend, let alone a lover. Thirty years had gone by, and not once had she really, truly smiled. Not once, had she really, truly, been happy. For Kagome couldn't be happy on her own. To be happy meant to be with someone. Whether family, friend, or lover. And now that she had the opportunity. The opportunity to need someone, to be needed by someone. How could she refuse?  
  
**Loss.**  
  
She had lost everything. Friends. Family. The boy who would never return her love. Even herself. And worst of all, she could never have it back. Time had taken it all away. Time, fate, and perhaps Destiny. The memories taunted her. Like the schoolyard bully you dreamed of beating but never could. How long had she wished to reunite with the monk and demon exterminator? Forever. How long would she continue to wish for the inevitable? Forever.  
  
Why couldn't things have stayed as they were? Why did Sesshomaru have to tempt her so?  
  
Anyone who passed by would not see her inner turmoil. They would only see a twenty year old girl.  
  
Covered in blood.  
  
Kagome had cut herself. It was the only way. The only way to free a little bit of the pain, a little bit of the agony. And yet, it hadn't made her decision any clearer. If anything it had only cluttered her mind more. But she had continued to cut herself. She couldn't stop. It was like smoking back in her world. One would endure all the pain, just for a little bit of freedom.  
  
And that freedom meant the world to Kagome.  
  
Glancing up, she saw the sun was halfway through its journey. How long did she have left? Who even cared.  
  
Kagome did.  
  
How was she supposed to choose between a lifetime of loneliness or a chance to be the brother's mate of the boy she loved.  
  
The boy she would love forever. But the boy she couldn't and wouldn't let herself have.  
  
Her claw quickly sliced her arm lightly and Kagome's eyes darkened as the small bit of release filled her. But the question was still in her mind: What was she going to do?   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
_"I've come here to kill you,  
Won't leave until you've died.  
Murder born of vengeance,  
I'll close my brothers eyes tonight..."_  
  



	12. Crimson

  
  
Lifeless  
  
Chapter 12  
  
Crimson

--------------------------------------------------------

_"Every time we lie awake,  
after every hit we take,  
Every feeling that I get,  
But I haven't missed you yet"_  
  
_crimson_. For some reason the word pounded inside as her eyes shot open. Groggily she sat up, muscles tightening when the word came again.   
  
_crimson_.  
  
Looking up, the sky was almost pitch black, a small sliver of the moon leaking through dark clouds. Had she really slept that long? It was so unlike her. Besides, wouldn't Sesshomaru come to find her?  
  
_"Kagome..."_ a voice called from behind while a chill ran through her back. She'd know that voice anywhere, after all, it did belong to him.  
  
"Inuyasha?" Kagome said quietly as she spun around.  
  
But only darkness greeted her.  
  
Suddenly she didn't like the eerie darkness, the gray skies, the haunting silence. Suddenly, she wanted to be anywhere but here.  
  
_crimson_. The word echoed in her head before she heard a branch snap, looking up in time to see a flash of white hair.  
  
"Inuyasha?" she called, but again, there was no answer.  
  
_"You shouldn't be here..."_ a voice whispered in her ear, but when Kagome whipped around, noone was there.  
  
Finally Kagome couldn't take it anymore, she turned, and ran.  
  
And as she ran she could hear his voice behind her, tempting her, trying to get her to return. But Kagome wouldn't stop running, because she was afraid of what she'd see if she did.  
  
"Fuck," she let out when her foot caught on a tree root and she was thrown to the ground. Slowly crawling, she reached the edge of a lake before seeing a blurry reflection.  
  
And then the word began to thump over and over again in her mind.  
  
"Get out of my head!" Kagome screamed, grabbing her skull.  
  
She couldn't take it anymore, it was just too tiring, just too aggravating. So she broke down and began to cry her tears into the earth. And at that moment, a bright light shone from behind her and suddenly everything was as light as day.  
  
Yet when Kagome looked back at her reflection, she let out a blood-curdling scream.  
  
Blood was falling from her eyes. Crimson blood.  
  
But fate wasn't done scaring her yet.  
  
Quite abruptly, her reflection rose from the water. But it wasn't a reflection of her present self. It was a reflection of her thirty years ago, down to the large, bleeding slash on her neck. Unconsciously, Kagome raised a hand to her own neck, feeling the long scar.  
  
"You shouldn't be here..." it hissed, "**You** shouldn't be here."  
  
Kagome clamped her mouth shout and began to inch her way back. But not before it pulled a large sword from its, or her, body. And the last thing it said before charging towards her:  
  
"You will not be here."  
  
_"Only when I start to think about it...  
I hate everything about you,  
Why do I love you?  
I hate everything about you,Why do I love you?"_   
  



	13. Discontinued

Hello readers,

I'm sorry to say that _Lifeless_ will be discontinued; I have a writer's block on said story and am unable to keep writing for it. But I am planning on trying to at least get another chapter up for my second story _Another Loss_, the very least try to get a small prologue up, so as other writers who are interested may continue the story with permission.

Again, I'm sorry to disappoint anybody, this message should have been up years ago, yet I left you hanging, but there is no need to get angry at me; after all I do have other things to do…like get ready for college; besides that, writing was never my strong point, its funny, I'm more into drawing –and I do take commissions for the right project/price. Aside from that, managing homework and high school related things have kept me busy for quite a long time.

Well that is all the updating I need to tell you guys at the moment; hopefully you guys will take some mercy on me…

L.G.K.O.


End file.
